As expected, several of our trainees showed up late to practice. Blaise made them all serve us and those who showed up on time during lunch. Her excuse? If you cannot serve your Goddess properly by showing up on time to your training, you can serve those who do! You can always count on Blaise to drive home a lesson in such a way.
We received word today that Ares and his men will be coming for a weeks stay, so that he and Aphrodite may discuss business and that his men may have a rest. I think that at least us Charities by this point understand what discussing business really means for our Goddess and the God of War, but that is a moot point I suppose.
The reason it holds significance is because of my sister-in-arms, Lucia. As I previously mentioned, her heart does indeed belong to one of Ares warriors, and there is no doubt in my mind that he made sure he would be coming. Tristan is a rather crass man, and can sometimes be downright violent towards Lucia (which puts Blaise and I on edge more than we care to admit), but Lucia can handle herself, and its easy to see that she truly does care for him.
As I also mentioned earlier, this also means that this week will certainly find me rather lonely. Blaise will be enjoying our visitors company and Lucia will be spending as much time with Tristan as she can since they so infrequently see each other. That will leave me where it always does. Wondering.
Im not sure if its smart to write this where perhaps someone else could find it and tell Aphrodite of this, but I am confident that I can find a way to secure this journal so that no one else can touch it. When these periods of time come around and I am left mostly on my own, I begin to think, perhaps too much, about my station here. I am of course honored to be a Charity, but sometimes I wonder, do I really belong here?
As a child, having what I have now seemed like a princess dream. As I have gotten older, the child-like magic of these things has worn off, which is to be expected of course. However, I am beginning to realize how little I fit in here. I do not participate in many of the islands ceremonies and traditions (as they are usually of a sexual nature), I seem to really be only prized for my appearance in the eyes of my Goddess, and my psychic abilities seem to grow more restless each day without any guidance as to how to control them. I have taught myself a great deal through trial and error in this regard, but I am still worried that it will become more of a hindrance than anything else one day.
Such thoughts can easily prey on someones mind, especially mine, as I have deduced through my own research that one of my psychic abilities is a mild form of empathy, simply meaning that my emotions tend to be a bit more extreme than most peoples, and I have a very easy time sensing what others are feeling. I try not to let these sentiments get to me during these times, but it gets harder and harder each time.
Well see how it turns out this time.
~
Its been two days since my last entry into this journal, and Ares and his men arrived late last night. Tristan did wind up coming as I expected, as I ran into him heading towards Lucias room late last night. He wanted to surprise her he said, although I think it was obvious what he really wanted from her at such an hour. She had no objections, Im sure.
I was only up that late because I had yet another nightmare. It was the same as the last one, except I have a much clearer picture of the place that was destroyed. It was indeed a place in Greece; I am now convinced of that. I saw other buildings that were clearly of such an origin. I also saw a large white building on top of a tall mountain, which was also adorned with white buildings, although smaller ones than the one at the top. It was quite a beautiful place, but I saw fire burst from the top of the mountain and engulf everything this time. I sketched out what I could remember of the area in my visionary book, just in case these dreams really do mean something. I do not know how much information I can glean from such a thing, however.
I must admit I am a bit sluggish today. The lack of sleep is clearly affecting me, as I did not return to sleep after the nightmare. I just couldnt for some reason. Blaise was with me during training today however, and I was grateful for her assistance. I know it will not last however, as we have a welcoming celebration scheduled for tonight in honor of Ares and his men. That means Blaise will certainly not be in any shape to teach tomorrow morning.
-
I think I am not as good at hiding my emotions as I used to be. Blaise asked me after training today if her always being out with Ares men when they visit bothered me, since I wind up taking up most of her (and some of Lucias) slack. I told her I did not mind, and I honestly dont; I would rather serve my Goddess than a warrior of a God I do not follow. She didnt seem very convinced. My lack of sleep may be the cause of that. Or, it may be that my control over my empathy is beginning to slip as well. I cant tell the difference. Thats really worrying me.
~
Its been three days since my last entry, and as I expected, Ive been basically alone. The thoughts I shared previously have been echoing in my mind, and Ive had a horrid headache for the past day and a half. I thought it was due to these thoughts, but I am beginning to believe it is a psychic headache. Its hard to describe the difference, but one can tell when theyve had as many of them as I have. Maybe these nightmares will have some meaning after all. I checked in on Lucia and Blaise today to soothe my own worries. Blaise, besides being a bit bored, is just as she always is, and Lucia has that glow she gets when Tristan is around. So, all seems well.
Why then are my nerves on edge? Its probably just me. Slight paranoia is something that comes coupled with abilities such as mine I think, especially when you have the lack of control that I have over them. Its most likely all in my head.
Speaking of, my headache is getting worse. I think I will retire to bed early tonight. I have no reason to stay up, after all.
-
As I feared, I had another nightmare. This one was similar to the last, save for a few fundamental differences. I could hear screaming this time; men, women, children, their voices echoed in horror. Also, I saw a figure on top of the mountain this time. It was a woman, tall and proud, in a flowing white dress with long lavender hair. She seemed rather familiar. I sketched what I could remember of her in my visionary book for future reference.
The most chilling part of it all, however, was the way this place was destroyed this time around. There was no fire, but something far worse.
A blackness, blacker than the deepest, darkest color I have ever witnessed in my life. It seemed to ooze out of the building atop the mountain, engulfing the woman that stood there. Then, it began to flow like slow lava all over the place, and the screams seemed to get even worse before they were smothered by the blackness. I was a moving entity in the dream this time, and tried to stop it, but when I got close, I got a cold, frightening chill unlike any Ive experienced before.
I am convinced that this is a premonition of something to come. I will begin researching this woman and this place in the morning after breakfast. I need to find out where this is happening, and to whom.
















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